Funny Quotes or Sayings for Enlightenment!
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
As I get older, I just prefer to knit.
Be obscure clearly.
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers.
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, "At my age, I don't even buy green bananas."
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
All men are equal before fish.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.
I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.
Who is truly lost; the one who is searching for the Truth or the one who thinks they have already found it?