Funny Life Quotes for Enlightenment!

Some Funny Life Quotes:

I rant, therefore I am.
Dennis Miller

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.
Jay London

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.
Groucho Marx

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.
Paul Lynde

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
George Burns

I think serial monogamy says it all.
Tracey Ullman

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
Ellen DeGeneres

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
Mae West

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.
David Lee Roth

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.
Les Dawson

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.
Spike Milligan

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. Jay London

Funny Life Quotes

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres

I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry.
Norman Wisdom

I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
Emo Philips

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Emo Philips

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.
Rod Schmidt

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
Mitch Hedberg

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
Paul Lynde

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Bertrand Russell

I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier.
Howard Nemerov

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
Bette Davis

I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room.
Mercedes McCambridge

My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
Margaret Smith

Never fight an inanimate object.
P. J. O'Rourke

Never floss with a stranger.
Joan Rivers

Never have more children than you have car windows.
Erma Bombeck

Who is it that is reading these words?
Author of this Web-Site

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Subscribe To This Site's Feed Home Blog Enlightenment Science Yoga Famous Quotes Meditation Purpose of Life Mantras Teachers	Funny Life Quotes for Enlightenment! Some Funny Life Quotes: I rant, therefore I am. Dennis Miller I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights. Jay London I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. Groucho Marx I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church. Paul Lynde I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. George Burns I think serial monogamy says it all. Tracey Ullman I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. Ellen DeGeneres I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. Mae West I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. David Lee Roth I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own. Les Dawson My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic. Spike Milligan My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. Jay London My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is. Ellen DeGeneres I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry. Norman Wisdom I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator. Emo Philips I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. Emo Philips I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. Rod Schmidt I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down. Mitch Hedberg I wish I had the nerve not to tip. Paul Lynde I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. Bertrand Russell I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier. Howard Nemerov I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair. Bette Davis I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room. Mercedes McCambridge My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at? Margaret Smith Never fight an inanimate object. P. J. O'Rourke Never floss with a stranger. Joan Rivers Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck Who is it that is reading these words? Author of this Web-Site Funny Quotes or Sayings Happy Quotes Life Quotes and Sayings Quotes of Life New Year Quotes Quote Bank Page Return from Funny Life Quotes to Famous Quotes Return from Funny Life Quotes to True Enlightenment Copyright © 2012 True-Enlightenment Privacy Policy, Disclaimer, Contact Images, Photos, and Graphics SBI!	Enlightening Quotes! Enlightenment Quotes Meditation Quotes Faith Quotes Wise Quotes Quotes about Moving On Freedom Quotes Dream Quotes Famous Bible Quotes Quotes about Love Depression Quotes Funny Life Quotes Funny Quotes or Sayings Encouragement Quotes Gandhi Quotes Mother Teresa Quotes Quotes of Life Albert Einstein Quotes Forgiveness Quotes Buddha Quotes God Quotes Hope Quotes Quotes about God New Year Quotes Quotes about Death Moving on Quotes Quotes about Strength Quotes about Change Bob Marley Quotes Life Quotes and Sayings Good Quotes Happy Quotes Christian Quotes Strength Quotes Motivational Quotes Inspirational Quotes Oprah Quotes Famous Quotes Quote Bank

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